Do you ever find yourself thinking…. “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant”? This is a quote from Robert McCloskey during a press briefing about the Vietnam war. Making ourselves heard and listening to what people say is one thing, truly understanding each other a feeling what is meant is another thing altogether.
All my clients have felt this before and I know I certainly have. This was before I trained as a CIQ coach. (CIQ) Conversational Intelligence is about connecting at a deeper level through conversations, and growing higher levels of trust with others to create more effective relationships, higher levels of engagement, strengthening partnerships and growing effective teams and cultures. As a coach I am sharing CIQ philosophy, frameworks and tools to help clients learn what they can do to drive connectivity and trust and what they can avoid which creates fear and distrust. CIQ is based on years of research into the neuroscience of conversations.
Using CIQ you can learn to elevate Oxytocin, a powerful neurochemical which reduces anxiety and helps us feel more social confidence and connection. It also helps us to lower Cortisol, a major stress hormone which in excessive quantities can create inflammation, weaken the immune system and negatively impact memory, resilience and emotional regulation. Elevated levels of Oxytocin will help you to operate from the executive area of your brain (The Prefrontal Cortex) rather than the Amygdala and gives access to increased empathy, judgement and higher decision making and innovation capabilities. With conversational intelligence you can achieve a natural chemical cocktail of neurochemicals to match the needs of your environment and build: trust, more effective relationships and a higher performance culture resulting in better performance.
I now have a deeper understanding of why and how I can so easily be triggered into unhelpful responses to certain situations, people, words and so on. I have been able to dramatically increase my physical, emotional and mental wellbeing as a result of this awareness and using the CIQ tools.
I believe increasing the Conversational Intelligence in Leaders, in particular, will have a significant impact on leadership team effectiveness and leadership impact throughout the organisation. This excites me as it is not just going to produce better bottom line performance, It will also increase the health and wellbeing of leaders and their teams and give leaders the opportunity to apply these skills in their precious home life too.
Please contact me if you want to understand more about this fascinating subject.